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First of all, I want to give a great big thank you to any and everyone who sent me comments, feedback, or just stopped by to read my stories. I got a lot of positive feedback for Genuine, Chapter 1 so here is Chapter 2 and I hope everyone enjoys it.
I stood in front of my mirror, anxiously smoothing my dress across my full hips. Cam had told me to dress up, so I went all out. My reddish blonde had been curled and pinned up into a loose, sexy bun, and I was wearing makeup, a yellow and blue flowered sundress and white heels. I checked my legs; they looked pretty tan and smooth so I didn’t wear pantyhose. I felt a little exposed, so I pulled white knit button up cardigan out of my closet to wear over my dress. I slipped it on and checked my reflection one last time.
A very pretty, dolled up, yet anxious girl looked back at me. I was nervous. I still had feelings for Cam that I had managed to suppress for the past few months, but they were still hiding in the back of my mind. It wouldn’t take much to bring those feelings back into play. The thought scared me.
Honestly, Cam and I hadn’t had a deep conversation in weeks. Ever since I told him off on the phone, our relationship was kind of neutral. I really missed joking with him, and staying up all night on the phone with him. I missed his late night poetry. I just missed my friend. Oh why, I wondered, did I have to start feeling for him? If I could just write him off as a friend, things would be okay. He could go ahead and date anyone he wants. I wouldn’t be jealous. At least now that school was out, I didn’t have to see it every day. It made it a little easier.
I still wanted him all to myself. Ever since I first met Cam, I had mentally claimed him as “mine”. It made me physically sick to see another girl touch him. I wanted to touch him. I wanted to be that girl in his arms. Why couldn’t he see that he belongs with me?
The doorbell rang, and I tried to push those thoughts from my mind. I splashed my favorite perfume, Curve, on my neck and wrists, listening to Mom open the door. I waited a moment, then heard laughter from downstairs. My mom loves Cam. I hurried down the steps, because I knew Mom would keep him in the living room all night, laughing and joking. As I came into the hall, the laughter stopped. I looked up, wondering what had happened.
Cam was staring at me like he’d never seen me before. I’m glad he was too busy staring at me to notice I was checking him out as well. He looked so good, dressed in nice jeans, a blue polo shirt and his typical black leather jacket. His light brown hair wasn’t fixed, exactly, but it looked better than usual and he smelled faintly of Tommy. He had definitely been working out here lately, and put on a few pounds of muscle.
He looked good.
“Dude, is that what you’re wearing? Why can’t I wear jeans?” I joked.
Usually he would’ve made some dumb crack about looking better in a dress than me or something, I don’t know. He remained serious.
“Please don’t change. You look beautiful.” he said softly.
Mom was looking at both of us with this stupid, embarrassing smile. God, I was going to die. Cam must have noticed because he said goodbye and dragged me out to the car before she started asking questions.
We made light conversation in the car, and I tried to relax. Everything would be fine as long as I could forget that he looked drop dead gorgeous and that I had a big crush on him.
Cam took me to Mona Lisa, a nice Italian restaurant in the next town. Once we got seated, face to face, we started talking.
“Did you see the look bahis firmaları on your Mom’s face?” he grinned at me.
I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, she was probably jealous. You know she loves you” I teased him.
He winked at me. “That was my plan all along.”
I laughed out loud. “Should I call you Daddy?”
He turned a little red at that one. “What are you going to eat?” he asked, changing the subject.
The waitress came; he ordered lasagna, I ordered eggplant parmesan.
He was more talkative than usual; he was trying to make me laugh and teasing me about all kinds of things. Somehow, I had successfully suppressed my feelings for him; I just tried not to make eye contact with him. Looking into his eyes made me want to kiss him, touch him. If he noticed anything strange, he didn’t let on. I just kept telling myself ‘this is not a date, this is just a night out with a friend’.
We finished dinner, and dessert. We got in the car, but he seemed reluctant to take me straight home. He struck up another conversation with me, and turned on the radio. One of our favorite songs came on and we started singing along to it.
I was having fun. “Do you remember when that song first came out and we would sing it on the phone together at like two in the morning?” I giggled. “And then your mom came in the room and was freaking out?” The memory of Cam dancing around in his room with the phone when his mom walked in had me in tears laughing.
Cam remained silent and I gradually stopped laughing. He was looking straight ahead. I started to worry that I had offended him. I kept quiet and looked at him. He finally turned to me, looking straight into me eyes, and started to speak.
“I remember. I remember every time I called you on the phone and you would listen to me. I remember all the advice you gave me that I never took. I remember the look in your eyes when I’d make you laugh.”
I averted my eyes from his, but he put his hand on my face, forcing me to make full eye contact. My head was spinning and my mouth went dry.
“What I don’t remember is why I never stopped to tell you how much I care about you. I’ve taken you for granted, all this time. There’s only one person who I really care about.”
I was scared. He was staring at me as though he could see my soul. I couldn’t speak, and I couldn’t move. He moved closer to me, and I let my eyes fall shut.
He leaned in and kissed me. His arms encircled me, pulling my body close to his. Kissing me gently at first, then harder. He kissed me with the passion a dying man would use to gasp for air. He kissed me with a need.
I couldn’t breathe; my mind refused to comprehend what was happening. My mouth wanted to stay pressed to his all night, but my brain was screaming in frustration. I finally had to pull away.
I opened my eyes, feeling like it was the first time. Everything looked as different as it felt. I blinked my eyes, wondering if I was really in a dream. The moon and stars shone brightly and Cam’s beautiful blue eyes twinkled in front of me.
I couldn’t believe it. “Did you just kiss me?” I croaked, not knowing what else to say.
He stroked my hair. “Yes. Is that okay?”
I shook my head in disbelief. “Yeah, it’s okay….it’s….wait, what happened? What does this mean? I thought we were just friends, and what about Casey?”
He chuckled. “Candy. And if you want, she’s out of the picture. It just took me a while to realize who I really had feelings for.” He kissed my lips again, lightly. “It’s you, Em.”
We held each other for a few minutes before he took me home. kaçak iddaa The drive was pretty much silent. I held one of his hands tightly in two of mine. I never wanted to let this feeling go.
He kissed me again before he dropped me off at home, just as passionately as before.
I went in and shut the door behind me, then leaned against it. Mom came in the living room and took one look at me.
“Did he kiss you?” she asked excitedly.
I smiled at her wearily and shook my head. “I can’t deal with this right now.”
She shrieked in joy. “I knew it!”
I went upstairs to lay down, wondering what would happen next.
The next day was Tuesday. I would be leaving for New York on Thursday. I wanted to see Cam before I left.I called him on the phone.
He sounded different when he answered. I was all excited, but he just didn’t seem to be happy. I was oblivious. I chattered on about something silly for a few minutes.
“Hey, Cam, you know I’m leaving soon and I wanted to get together before I leave on Thursday. Maybe I’ll dress up for you again,” I teased.
He hesitated. It was only a moment, but it made me sick to my stomach. Something was different. Something wasn’t right.
“Emma, I just wanted to say that maybe, last night….well, maybe it was like, a mistake. We’re friends, you know? We have a good thing going. I just got carried away. I know you’re leaving for a few weeks, and I’m going to miss you, but I don’t want you to think I’m leading you on.” His voice took on a twinge of sympathy. Like he was telling a child, no, we can’t get ice cream today.
I felt tears sting at my eyes, and I literally wanted to throw up. My heart sank….no, it broke. I took in a deep, painful breath and let it back out.
“Oh…okay.” that was all I could say. In the background, he kept going on about how he cared about me and stuff, but I wasn’t listening. It was all I could do not to break down and cry, but I could not let him know how I was feeling. In my mind, he was the enemy. We said our goodbyes and hung up.
I sat on the bed, and as my mind raced, my despair turned to anger. I had been doing so well until he kissed me. Why did he kiss me if it didn’t mean anything? I was so angry. And hurt, and betrayed. Was I not good enough for him? What was wrong with him?
I got up and packed my bags. It didn’t matter.
One year later.
I was at the mall browsing the bookstore, my purse on my arm and a cup of coffee in my hand. A shadow loomed over me, and I glanced up. Blue eyes.
I looked back down at the books. “Hey, Cam.”
I hadn’t seem him since that night he had kissed me; he had tried to call me several times, in vain. He had tried to come by and see me when I got back from New York. I had managed to push him out of my head, out of my heart. Seeing him, knowing he was right there, made my heart flutter and my stomach do cartwheels, but I couldn’t let him know that.
I took a casual sip of coffee, but my hands were shaking.
“Hey, Emma.” he sounded almost sad. “How have you been?”
“Not bad.” I said, pretending to be distracted by a cookbook.
“Hey, you think we can get together sometime?” he asked me. “It’d be great to catch up.”
“Sure.” I said it softly, but I was really looking forward to hanging out with again, in the worst way.
I guess you never get over your first love.
I gave him my number, and he called me a few nights later. I had my own place, but he was still with his parents. I didn’t feel comfortable inviting him over to my house, but I definitely didn’t want to kaçak bahis go to his parents house either. I had only met them a few times; they were hardcore religious and they kind of scared me.
So we met at his buddy’s house. He was Cam’s buddy, and I knew him from high school. I went over there about eight o clock. They were in the living room with a bottle of vodka getting wasted.
I spent the next hour watching Cam smoke cigarette after cigarette, as he and his buddy finished off nearly half a gallon of vodka.
I realized I hadn’t missed much. After high school, Cam had enrolled in the local junior college, only to drop out afterwards. He was working at a fast food restaurant in town trying to make some money to get out of his parent’s house.
Turns out he was still into letting girls walk all over him. He was dating some girl who had a baby and would leave him alone for hours to baby sit. He wasn’t happy. He wasn’t the same smart, funny, ambitious guy I had known so long ago. It wasn’t really that long ago, but he was so different.
Apparently he was an alcoholic, now too. I had pretty much decided it was time for me to leave when Cam told me to come outside with him to talk.
He lit up another cigarette, taking a deep drag before turning to face me.
“I wanted to apologize for what happened back then.” he told me.
I looked up at him, searching his pretty blue eyes. He was still the same guy. The old feelings were still there. He wasn’t the person he used to be, but that didn’t stop me from loving him. I felt sad for him then, for who he used to be. The strong guy I used to know seemed beaten down. I wished I could be there for him. I wanted to hold him, pull him close to me, and make all his troubles go away. But if he wouldn’t let me in, there was nothing I could do. I couldn’t just be his friend. It was either all or nothing. And he’d never give me all of himself.
“Don’t worry about it.”
He smiled, his expression wistful.
“Ever wonder what might have happened, Emma?”
He didn’t ask the whole question, but he didn’t need to. I had spent too many long nights wondering what had went wrong. Two people who seem so right for each other meet. They form a bond. Then, just as quickly, it’s gone.
Tears came to my eyes. “All the time.” I smiled.
We talked a little more. His eyes were starting to glaze over and look bleary.
“I better go lay down,” he told me.
He went inside and laid down on the couch. I think he passed out the moment his head hit the pillow. I’m glad he wasn’t awake. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I pulled the blanket up over his chest.
I touched his face, then gently kissed his lips.
“I love you.” I whispered softly. A tear fell from my face onto his.
I wiped it away, stroking his face gently.
I stood up and got my jacket, to leave. Cam’s buddy was standing in the kitchen, watching me.
“So you’re Emma.” he said.
He glanced over at Cam, then back at me.
“You really do love him, don’t you?”
I nodded, my eyes still on Cam.
“Don’t say anything. Please.” I told him.
He nodded. “You know, this girl he’s dating…it’s never going to work out. Why did you guys never hook up? God knows he cares about you. He kept talking about you, and how he wasn’t good enough for you. What happened?”
I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, then looked back at him.
“I don’t know. But I’ll always love him.”
Love is like a wave crashing on the beach. It may ebb and flow, but the waves always return to the shore. Once you fall in love, you are never truly free. You are bound to that person, forever, no matter what. Sometimes things don’t work out, and you don’t know why, but some people will always hold a special place in your heart.
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